In this light-hearted exploration of marriage jokes, we embark on a delightful journey to discover the humor that lies at the heart of the matrimonial union. From classic one-liners that highlight the nuances of living together to playful anecdotes about misunderstandings and compromises, these jokes encapsulate the essence of marriage in all its amusing glory.

Throughout the article, we’ll delve into the shared experiences that make these jokes resonate with couples from all walks of life. Whether it’s navigating household chores, the quirks of each partner, or the humorous insights into communication styles, these jokes lovingly poke fun at the very fabric of marriage while fostering a sense of camaraderie and understanding.

Moreover, we’ll explore how humor, when employed wisely, can strengthen the bond between partners and diffuse tense situations, acting as a valuable coping mechanism in the face of life’s challenges. Marriage jokes not only bring laughter but also serve as a reminder that, in the grand tapestry of life, a hearty chuckle can be the thread that mends the little tears along the way.

So, join us on this laughter-filled expedition, where we celebrate the wit and wisdom of marriage jokes that have been passed down through generations, resonating with couples in their unique journey of love, laughter, and happily ever after.

1. There was a man who said that he would go through hell for his partner. They got married and now he is going through hell.
2. Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
3. Why are husbands like lawnmowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time!
4. Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
5. When you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear.”
6. I married Miss Right, I didn’t know her first name was Always.
7. Marriage requires a man to prepare for 3 different rings: An engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.
8. Love is a long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
9. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
10. My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed… I never knew they worked!
11. Just asked my wife what she’s “burning up for dinner” and it turned out to be all of my personal belongings.
12. What do you call two spiders that just got married? Newly-webs.
13. Marriage isn’t a word, it’s a sentence. A life sentence.
14. A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The woman looked at him strangely and asked “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere,” he replied.
15. Why do wives use twice as many words as their husbands? Because they always have to repeat themselves.
16. The saying is true; love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
17. Marriage is full of surprises but it’s mostly just asking each other, “Do you have to do that right now?”
18. Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”
19. Why does a man twist his wedding ring on his finger? He’s trying to figure out the combination.
20. Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it but know you have to and you’re made to dress snappy and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is you don’t have a say in the life sentence being passed.
21. If a man is in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t a woman around, is he still wrong?
22. The groom is the kind of guy you don’t have to worry about introducing your parents to. That’s why (Bride) didn’t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.
23. A wife once told his husband, “If a ship was sinking and there was only one life vest in the entire ship, I would miss you dearly, honey.”
24. They married for better or for worse—he couldn’t have done better and she couldn’t have done worse.
25. Single guys often dream about having a smart, beautiful, caring wife. So do most married men
26. At every party, there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.
27. When a woman makes a fool of a man it’s usually an improvement.
28. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.”
29. I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today that my wife and I have separate names for the cat.
30. A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.
31. I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant and the groom was glowing.
32. My husband and I had a very happy twenty years. After that, we met.
33. I’d now like to focus on the groom for a moment. Enjoy it, mate. After today, this is the last time you’ll ever be the center of attention.
34. Wife (sitting in front of the mirror): “I feel ugly. Compliment me to make me feel better.” Husband: “Your vision is absolutely perfect.”
35. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.”
36. What’s the difference between a relationship and a video game? They both start off fun and easy, then get a litter harder. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.
37. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take, the husband gives and the wife takes.
38. My wife asked for her Chapstick, but I accidentally handed her the glue stick. She is not talking to me yet.
39. Husband: “Why do you keep reading our marriage license?” Wife: “I’m looking for an expiration date.”
40. Scientists have just discovered something that can do all the work of five men…a woman.
41. It doesn’t matter how many times a married man changes his job; he will always end up with the same boss.
42. Woman: “I got a set of golf clubs for my husband.” Friend: “Great trade!”
43. My husband cooks for me like I’m a god – by placing burnt offerings before me every night.
44. If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
45. Whenever my wife packs me a salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong.
46. When I first started dating my wife she asked me what some of my dreams were. I told her one was about a T-Rex who didn’t get a job because he couldn’t tie a tie. She meant goals.
47. How do you know if your husband is dead? The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
48. Marriage is like a video game. Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually you go online and find a way to cheat.
49. Husband: “I want to go somewhere on holiday this year that I’ve never been before.” Wife: “Well how about the kitchen?”
50. What do wives and hurricanes have in common? On arrival, they’re wet and wild. When they leave, they take the house and car with them.
51. Do you know why the king of hearts married the Queen of hearts? They were perfectly suited for each other.
52. Marriage is becoming more and more progressive. I heard two scoutmasters recently decided to tie the knot.
53. On my wedding day, my mom told my bride, “No refunds, no exchanges on sale items.”
54. My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids. If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.
55. A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500, and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal.” The trucker replies, “Listen darlin’, I’m not horny—I’m just homesick.”
56. The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
57. What are a married man’s two greatest assets? A closed mouth and an open wallet.
58. I asked my wife to let me know the next time she has an orgasm. She said she doesn’t like to bother me when I’m at work.
59. Arguing with your wife or husband is a lot like trying to read the ‘Terms of Use’ on the internet. In the end, you just give up and go “I agree.”
60. I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married they send over a lady in a housecoat and curlers to burn my toast for me.
61. A magician made her husband vanish into thin air. How you may ask? Simple, she asked for the truth.
62. What’s the difference between a bride-to-be and a groom-to-be? A bride-to-be wants a shower. A groom-to-be wants to get as dirty as possible before his Big Day.
63. I can remember when I got married and I can remember where I got married. For the life of me, I can’t remember why I got married.
64. How is a wife like bacon? They both look, smell, and taste amazing. They also both slowly kill you.
65. “I love you,” she said. “Is that you talking,” I asked, “Or the wine?” “It’s me talking to the wine.”
66. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the television channel.
67. Wife: Let’s go out and have fun tonight! Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.
68. I saw my wife putting on her sexy underwear this morning. This can only mean one thing.
    It’s laundry day.
69. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
70. What’s the secret to a happy marriage? Find a woman who can cook and clean. A woman who’s an animal in bed. A woman with lots of money. Make sure these three women never meet.
71. Every morning I like to remind my wife who’s in charge by holding a mirror up to her face.
72. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
73. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”
74. It has been a very emotional day…as some of you must have noticed, even the cake is in tiers.
75. My husband and I have agreed to never go to bed angry with each other. So far, we’ve been up for three days.
76. I’ve fallen in love with a pencil and we’re getting married. I can’t wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
77. Once you’re married, people stop asking about your sex life. They know you don’t have one.
78. My wife Mary and I have been married for 47 years, and not once have we argued seriously enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
79. I play the world’s most dangerous sport. I disagree with my wife.
80. An old couple is ready to go to sleep. The old man lies on the bed, but the old woman lies down on the floor. The old man asks, ”Why are you going to sleep on the floor?” The old woman says, “Because I want to feel something hard for a change.”
81. The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
82. What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three hos.
83. My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
84. I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, and she said yes—about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.
85. A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?” The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a 45-year-old woman, I have the breasts of an 18-year-old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your 45-year-old ass?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
86. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
87. My partner and I took out life insurance policies on each other. So, now it’s just a waiting game.
88. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
89. Why is marriage like a nice suit? At first, it’s a perfect fit, but after a while, you need alterations.
90. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong, and she agrees with me.
91. How do most men define a wedding? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
92. Wife: “Do you want dinner?” Husband: “Sure, what are my choices?” Wife: “Yes and no.”
93. I tried comforting the jilted bride by reminding her, “At least the wedding went off without a hitch.”
94. Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!
95. Wife: “Why are you home so early?” Husband: “My boss told me to go to hell.”
96. Marriage is the alliance of two people—one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
97. What kind of institution is marriage? One where a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
98. Wife: “How would you describe me?” Husband: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Wife: “What does that mean?”
    Husband: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Wife: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Husband: “I’m just kidding!”
99. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
100. Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake a whole relationship.
101. One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in stunningly sexy lingerie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “And you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.
102. Did you hear about the two-bed bugs that were lovers? They got married in the spring.
103. If I have to choose between a husband and shoes, I choose shoes. They tend to last longer and are easier to replace.
104. Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail.
105. A married couple is out one night at a dance club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 20 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” The husband says, “Looks like he’s still celebrating!”
106. Taking my husband’s last name doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist; it means I don’t want anyone I went to high school with to be able to find me ever again.
107. On the groom’s first date with the bride, he thought he’d make an impression, and promised her a seven-course meal. She was a tad disappointed when it turned out to be a burger and a six-pack!
108. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
109. Two cannonballs got married this morning. I heard they are already expecting BBs…
110. A husband asks his wife, “Will you marry after I die?” The wife responds, “No, I will live with my sister.” The wife asks him back, “Will you marry after I die?” The husband responds, “No, I will also live with your sister.”
111. On their wedding night, a groom asks his new bride, “Honey, am I your first?” She says, “Why does everyone ask me that?”
112. He has been in love with the same woman for 25 years—I hope his wife doesn’t find out.
113. Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life. Take advantage of that as much as you can
114. A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
115. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
116. A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce.
117. Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
118. The main difference between a person’s wife and a battery is that the battery contains a positive side.
119. I had my credit card stolen the other day, but I didn’t bother to report it because the thief spends less than my wife.
120. A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, “It’s my husband, you have to leave!” The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and ends up out on the street when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, “Wait, I’m your husband!” She replies giving him a dirty look, “So why did you run?”

Anti-jokes have been around since comedy existed, with stand-up comedians Andy Kaufman and Norm McDonald two of the genre’s biggest anti-joke comedians. Both were hilarious comics who thrived on irony, anti-climax, and the violation of expected comedic patterns. They would tell gags that began as a typical joke but offered a surprising twist that was far from humorous. Instead of a witty punchline, you got a mundane or non-sensical response absent of humor.

What makes anti-jokes work is the absurdity of the gags due to the absence of traditional comedy structures. The strange nature of these jokes and the anti-climatic payoff are sometimes so disjointed you can’t help but laugh. These jokes push the boundaries of what we find funny and challenge our cognitive processes, inviting us to re-evaluate our understanding of humor.

Anti-jokes often employ dark or taboo subject matter, adding an additional layer of complexity and surprise. This blend of unexpectedness and societal discomfort can elicit a reaction that lies somewhere between confusion, shock, and amusement. Anti-jokes allow us to explore the boundaries of what is socially acceptable in humor, often leading to introspection and reflection on our own biases and sensitivities.

To help you understand what these jokes are all about, with collected some of the most ridiculous anti-jokes for you to enjoy below. They won’t be for everyone, but those with a dark or absurd sense of humor will probably get a kick out of some of these gags.

1. I’m on a seafood diet. It is going to be really tough for me, I lost a bet to a friend and the problem is I am a vegetarian.
2. What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly. The irony is unfortunate, but the name doesn’t change.
3. A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave as they spot the potential danger of the situation.
4. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where’s my tractor?
5. Why are T-Rexs unable to clap their hands? Because they are extinct.
6. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper replies, “What, you have a drink called Steve?”
7. What is red and extremely bad for your teeth? A flying brick.
8. A duck walks into a pharmacy. He approaches the pharmacist at the counter and says, “I need some ointment for this rash on my beak.” The pharmacist replies, “Sorry, we don’t have medicine for ducks here.”
9. What kind of fish doesn’t swim? A dead fish.
10. John: “Ask me if I’m a tree.” Sarah: “Are you a tree?” John: “No.”
11. What did number seven say to number nine? Nothing, numbers don’t talk.
12. Mary had a little lamb. The doctor was very surprised.
13. What’s sad about the four black men driving off a cliff? They were my friends.
14. A group of ducks flew overhead in a V formation.
15. What do you call a person who wears a wig? Bald.
16. What ended after 1984? 1985.
17. I can still remember my Grandpa’s last words before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
18. What did one stranger say to the other? Nothing. They didn’t know each other.
19. Why did the ant stop for a drink of water? It was thirsty.
20. A man went to a Chinese restaurant but was struggling to use chopsticks so the server gave him a fork.
21. What did one German man say to the other German man? I have no idea, I can’t speak German.
22. A man caught a goldfish one day and it said to him “If you let me go, I’ll grant you three wishes!” The man was committed to a mental institution soon after for severe schizophrenia.
23. How do you make a French guy cry? Murder his family.
24. Why did the dinosaur say “hello” to the little girl? He was being polite.
25. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
26. How does the white-tail deer jump higher than the average house? This is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.
27. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Stolen! Make sure you return it before the rightful owners prosecute you.
28. My girlfriend is like an iPhone 7. She doesn’t have a headphone jack.
29. What do you call a talking turtle? A cartoon.
30. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never. 
31. Do you know what’s really odd? Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
32. What do you call a washing machine that won’t wash dishes anymore? Broken.
33. A proton walks into a bar. No one noticed it because protons are tiny and everywhere.
34. What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the Batmobile? Robin! Get in the Batmobile!
35. A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. They have a pleasant time discussing a variety of topics because they are friends.
36. Take my wife now, please! We have run out of gas and she is late for work.
37. What do you call an Australian plumber? A plumber.
38. Why do we dress baby boys in blue and baby girls in pink? Because they can’t dress themselves.
39. A guy walks into a library looking for a book on suicide. The librarian asks, “Do you have a library card?” The man says “no” and leaves.
40. What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance.
41. If you paint a black house with red paint, what do you get? A red house.
42. What is a dog’s favorite form of social media? None, as dogs can’t use social media.
43. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Why the long face?”
44. And the horse says, “I’ve just realized I’m a metaphysical construct within a fictional narrative and will cease to exist at the end of this sentence.”
45. What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo? “This ain’t my first rodeo!”
46. Yo mama so fat… she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious health issue.
47. An apple a day is extremely poor form if you sell apples for a living.
48. What is yellow and something you shouldn’t drink? A school bus.
49. Where was the Constitution signed? At the bottom.
50. What do you call someone who counts all of the boxes of pencils at the pencil factory? A warehouse manager.
51. I know a good knock-knock joke, but someone else has to start it.
52. What is a pirate’s favorite letter? They probably didn’t have one, as history points to the fact that most pirates were illiterate.
53. A man died after eating 300 hot dogs. The moral of the story is don’t eat 300 hot dogs.
54. Why did the man put hot water in the freezer? Because he wanted to make ice cubes for his guest’s drinks.
55. What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
56. A bartender walks into a bar, he was off to work for the night.
57. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it passed out.
58.  If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… Then illegal logging company I invested in is paying off.
59. What do you call a joke that isn’t funny? A sentence.
60. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
61. What happens if you put red wine in the fridge? It gets cold.
62. Why are there no Jewish people on Uranus? The nature of the planet does not sustain human life.
63. You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends… But you can’t rob a bank. That’s a felony.
64. What’s white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
65. I like my coffee how I like my coffee. Coffee.
66. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “I lost my tractor.” 
67. How many eggs do chickens lay? Average one every 24-48 hours.
68. What has 2 thumbs and won’t crap? Me because I am constipated.
69. You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For example, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
70. Where do polar bears vote? They don’t because polar bears have no political views.
71. What should you do if you get a scratch from a piece of metal? Get a tetanus shot.
72. How is a laser beam similar to a goldfish? Neither one can whistle.
73. What do you call a medical student that graduated last in their class? Doctor.
74. Do you know why one side of the V is longer than the other? It has more ducks.
75. What does Santa Claus do over Easter? Relax.
76. A black person walked into a bar. They ordered a drink, drank it, and then left.
77. What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs.
78. Doctor: I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Patient: What’s the bad news? Doctor: You’re dying! Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: There’s an open mic night tonight downtown. You should go because it’s good to have a bit of levity in this cruel life.
79. What would happen if you asked dinosaurs to a dinner party? Nothing as dinosaurs don’t exist.
80. Why did the man have a nosebleed? Because he got punched in the face.
81. What do you call a Japanese man in the shower? A Japanese man in the shower.
82. If a red car is red and a blue car is blue, what is a green car? Green.
83. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your caramel apple. They usually cost more.
84. Mary had a little lamb… and the doctor fainted.
85. What is funny about five people in a Chevy Suburban driving off a cliff? Nothing. They were my cousins.
86. Why is there no aspirin in the rainforest? Because it wouldn’t be financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a vastly unpopulated rainforest.
87. If a drink looks like Coke and tastes like Coke, what is it? Coke.
88. Why didn’t Michael go to the party? He wasn’t invited.
89. How do you tell a joke to a deaf person? I don’t know as I don’t know sign language.
90. What do you call ice cream that is chocolate flavored? Chocolate ice cream.
91. Do you know why people are afraid to visit Rachel’s house? Because it’s haunted.
92. Why did little Johnny smash open his piggy bank? He wanted his money.
93. What do you call a dog that can’t find its way home? Lost.
94. I told my friend she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
95. What did the man ask when he approached the bar? “Can I have a beer, please?”
96. Someone stole my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about that.

Biology jokes have a unique way of blending scientific knowledge with humor and come in the form of clever biological references, witty puns, and lighthearted cracks about the school subject. From DNA-related wisecracks to animal-themed quips, biology jokes showcase the humorous side of the natural world, allowing us to marvel at the natural world while also having a few giggles.

While we admit some of the jokes below are a little corny, they are still funny biology jokes that should bring a smile to the face of everyone in the class, even the biology teacher. And if you are a big fan of these science jokes, be sure to check out our favorite physic jokes too. 

1. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

2. I was reading a book on helium…

I couldn’t put it down.

3. Why did the biologist break up with the physicist?

They had no chemistry.

4. I wish I was adenine…

Then I could get paired with U.

5. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?

B positive!

6. Why do ants never get sick?

They have little anty bodies.

7. What did the cell say when he ran into the table?

Mitosis.

8. Where did the viruses go?

They flu away.

9. What do you call it when your biology grade is close to an F?

Biodegraded.

10. Why wouldn’t the scientist go into the haunted house?

He was too petrified.

11. Where do hippos go to university?

Hippocampus.

12. What do you call an organic compound with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid.

13. Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book?

It was a hard cell.

14. Do you want to hear a potassium joke?

K.

15. Why are men sexier than women?

You can’t spell sexy without xy.

16. Two blood cells met and fell in love.

Sadly, it was all in vein.

17. Why did the woman break up with the biologist?

He was too cell-fish.

18. What does a biologist tell you when you have to give blood?

B positive!

19. Why was the amoeba sad?

His parents just split.

20. What do you call a cab that provides drug therapy?

Chemotaxis.

21. Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide.

22. What is the tiniest virus in the world?

Smallpox.

23. My biology teacher decided to create vocal cords with stem cells.

The results really speak for themselves.

24. What do other plants do when one of their plant friends is sad?

Photosympathize.

25. Why was the mushroom so popular?

He was a real fungi.

26. A couple of biologists had twins…

They named one Jessica and the other Control.

27. What did the femur say to the patella?

I kneed you.

28. Why do biologists look forward to casual Fridays?

They’re allowed to wear genes to work.

29. What do biologists post on Instagram?

Cell-fies.

30. One flower looks at the other and says, “You hungry?”

The second flower responded, “I could use a light snack.”

31. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?

As an itsy bitsy book.

32. Why do biologists like to travel?

It makes them more cultured.

33. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?

The nucleus.

34. Why aren’t students allowed in the biology teachers’ lounge?

It’s for staph only.

35. What do hipster biologists wear?

Skinny genes.

36. Why was the girl worried about biology class?

She has a Nervous System.

37. How does a marine biologist end a conversation?

Sea you later!

38. Why did the scuba diver fail biology?

He was below “C” level.

39. There are well over 100 labs in America working on developing a vaccine for the latest COVID-19 strain.

Just wait till they get the German shepherds involved!

40. A male frog calls the psychic hotline. He is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled. “This is great,” he says. “Will I meet her in a bar?”

“No,” says the psychic. “In her biology class.”

41. Why did the woman break up with the biologist?

He was too cell-fish.

42. Today in biology class we were dissecting an eye.

I kept thinking of jokes but they were getting cornea and cornea.

43. I made a DNA joke in my biology class but no one laughed…

Guess my thymine was off.

44. What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

45. Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”

Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”

46. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?

Romeostasis.

47. Biologists can also be great philosophers.

They give fantastic life lessons.

48. It’s impossible for plants to escape from jail.

There’s a wall around their cell!

49. Teacher: “What is the definition of a protein?”

Student: “A protein is something that is made up of mean old acids.”

50. Which place of worship is made from amino acids?

The cysteine chapel.

51. If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.

52. What do football players wear on their heads?

Helminth.

53. Are you made of copper and tellurium?

Because you are Cu-Te.

54. We just hired a new molecular biologist.

Wow, isn’t she small?

55. I walked into the biology lab and saw my lab partner dissecting an insect.

I told him, “I think your fly is open.”

56. Why did the biologist not water all of the plants?

Because they couldn’t find the thyme!

57. What did the conservative biologist say?

“The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.”

58. Why can’t a plant be on the dark side of the Force?

Because it can’t make food without the light!

59. A dermatologist was studying new remedies for itching, but his lab burnt down…

Now he has to start from scratch.

60. Why was the biologist broke?

Because he was sporely paid.

61. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?

Pull down its genes.

62. How do you reprimand a lazy scientist working in a cryogenics lab?

“Your contribution to this project is absolute zero.”

63. What did the avid recyclers name their triplets?

Polly, Ethel, and Ian.

64. Is there a big difference between male and female anatomy?

Yes, a vas deferens.

65. What did the biologist wear on his first date with the pretty girl?

Designer genes.

66. Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?

Nucleotides.

67. Why didn’t the dendrochronologist ever get married?

Because he only dated trees.

68. Do you have 11 protons?

‘Cause you’re Sodium fine.

69. What would you call the scientific study of real estate?

Homology.

70. A doctor, a health insurance agent, and a lab tech walk into a bar. Who pays the tab?

The patient.

71. Why don’t yogurt and medicine get along?

One is probiotic, and the other is antibiotic.

72. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?

“I like your ‘style.’”

73. How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?

He caught the garter snake.

74. What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?

“Woopea!”

75. Do you know what gets on my nerves?

Myelin.

76. What do you call a broken spirometer?

Expired.

Funny billboards are like a breath of fresh air in the world of advertising, injecting a touch of levity into our often monotonous routines. Whether they make us chuckle, giggle, or burst into uncontrollable laughter, these billboards have the power to brighten our day and leave a lasting impression.

Picture this: you’re stuck in traffic, feeling the stress of the day weighing on your shoulders, and suddenly, your eyes fall upon a billboard that reads, “I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. Now, I’m a banker!” The clever play on words instantly brings a smile to your face, momentarily distracting you from the frustrations of the road. In that moment, the billboard becomes more than just an advertisement; it becomes a source of joy and entertainment.

Funny billboards often rely on clever wordplay, witty puns, or unexpected juxtapositions to deliver their punchlines. They tap into our sense of humor and offer a refreshing break from the mundane. From tongue-in-cheek messages like “Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people” to hilarious visual gags that make you do a double-take, these billboards prove that advertising doesn’t have to be serious to be effective.

Moreover, funny billboards have a way of transcending cultural and language barriers. Laughter is a universal language, and a well-executed joke can connect with people from different backgrounds and perspectives. It creates a shared moment of lightheartedness and camaraderie among strangers, fostering a sense of community in the midst of the urban jungle.

In a world where we are bombarded with ads at every turn, funny billboards provide a much-needed respite. They inject humor into the mundane and leave an indelible mark on our memory. So, the next time you find yourself grumbling about the daily commute, keep an eye out for those witty billboards that remind us that laughter truly is the best advertisement.

B Media Group

1. No Toilet Paper

B Media Group

This is great marketing from Imodium. It’s a simple billboard with an empty toilet roll, which is one of the worst things you can run into, especially if you’re suffering from diarrhea. That’s where Imodium comes in handy.

2. 3M Holds

3M

Demonstrating how great 3M tape is, this billboard is being held together by the popular brand’s electrical tape.

3. Jesus Can Save You

Runt

The above image features two very different billboard ads that make for some funny content. The top billboard is advertising a gentleman’s club known as Racers and features an alluring woman. Underneath is a billboard from Dallasburg Baptist Church asking passersby what their eyes are fixed on and that Jesus can help with their vision. These make for some very funny signs.

4. Sex Sells

Dashtwo

Subway went an interesting route by using sex to let people know about its foot-long subs. While the main portion of the billboard reads “Sex,” look below and it’s actually about the famous sandwich shop.

5. When Customer Service Takes Priority

Tottenheimer/Reddit

This neat billboard by machine parts company TVH does a great job of getting the message across that customer service is the brand’s number priority while also being funny.

6. Nut Milk Is Not Milk

gentleman_bronco/Reddit

In case you weren’t aware, this billboard offers some sound advice for consumers.

7. Legal Weed

bostontrees/Reddit

This funny billboard does two things. One, it lets you know in 60 miles weed is legal so you can spark one up, and two, it also advertisers tech company Weedmaps, which shares the location of weed dispensaries as well as allows lovers of the green to connect and share information about their experiences shopping with different brands. This is a great example of clever marketing from Weedmaps.

8. Hot Sauce

Adeevee

Capscico hot sauce is so powerful it’s burning a hole in the billboard. Imagine what it will do to your stomach!

9. Dracula

BBC Creative

Ok, so this billboard might be more scary than funny, but we had to include it due to how clever it is. Advertising the BBC show Dracula, the billboard doesn’t really make much sense during the day, with one half covered in wooden stakes and a large gap between that and the words promoting the show.

But that all changes at night when the shadows from the stakes form the image of Dracula with his fangs out. The addition of the stake in a glass cabinet that reads, “In case of vampires break glass,” only adds to the genius of this billboard.

10. Florida Citrus Center

DelgoOnDVD/Reddit

This billboard is advertising a local Florida attraction and offers up a lot of interesting information. As the billboard reveals, The Florida Citrus Center not only sells oranges but also pecan and peanut brittle, has free juice up for grabs, and live baby gators running about. The perfect holiday stop.

11. Storming Area 51?

Patrick324/Reddit

A few years back there was a big hoopla about a Facebook group that was proposing people storm Area 51 so they could get the truth about what is going on there. Only around 150 UFO enthusiasts showed up, and while things didn’t exactly turn out like people might have hoped, it did make for some interesting reading.

This hilarious billboard is aimed at those who might have gotten hurt while attempting to break into the secure US military facility. Maloney and Lyons Attorneys at Law were ready to help and would return your call personally. A clever and funny way of cashing in on a social media event that went global.

12. Unfortunate Positioning

RedditRocks2021/Reddit

Separately, these billboards are advertising two different movies, but when put next to each other they make for a funny sign that appears to show Matt Damon’s Jason Bourne character threatening to kill Scrat from Ice Age. Sometimes it’s the placement of billboards that makes them funny.

13. Hot Wheels

Daniel Andrés Mora Lugo/Behance

The problem with this billboard is that it’s sure to distract some people driving past who might think the bridge is actually a loop. That aside, it’s a funny way to advertise Hot Wheels.

14. Two For One

Jonnyspringfield/Reddit

Here’s something you don’t see that often; two companies working together to display their wares on billboards. The first billboard is for Nixa hardware and shows a chainsaw cutting down a tree. The tree happens to fall on a crashed car on the billboard below, which is advertising French-Davis Collision, an auto-wreckers. Brilliant.

15. What Did You Just Say?

B Media Group

This billboard gets your attention by the phrase, “Your wife is hot,” and while she no doubt is, the message is actually in reference to the temperature and her being uncomfortable in the heat. Underneath are the words “better get your AC fixed” and the details for Kalins Indoor Comfort, a business that sells air conditioners.

16. Nose Hairs

Saatchi & Saatchi

Panasonic did a great job advertising their nose trimmers with this funny billboard that uses the telephone and electric wires from the street as nose hairs to show what you might look like if you don’t keep that area of your face nice and tidy. Great marketing.

17. Giant Dicks

Runt

This is another example of what can happen when two completely different billboards are put side by side. You can’t help but laugh at this one.

18. Pork Lovers

Runt

This one is for all the pork lovers. A great play on words sure to give you a giggle.

19. Alcohol or Therapy

Runt

We don’t condone this billboard but it’s hard to not laugh. Not only is the phrase, “Alcohol: It’s cheaper than therapy,” funny, but the images of the two men used only adds to the hilarity of this liquor store advert.

20. Phuket

B Media Group

Air Asia loves a good pun as this billboard demonstrates. This is a great way to advertise a trip to Phuket using a naughty pun that is sure to get any passerby’s attention.

21. Someone Needs the Gym

Dash Two

Siberman’s Fitness went for something eye-catching with their billboard. While an image of an overweight man might not be that exciting, the fact that the billboard is on an angle, suggesting his weight is causing the billboard to be on a slant, is both funny and smart marketing.

22. Don’t Drive Like a Wanker

Runt

The message is clear but the way it is displayed will give you a good chuckle. This a fantastic way to promote safe driving on country roads.

23. Ring Finger

B Media Group

At first look, it might seem like this billboard is giving you the finger, but it’s just a woman waiting for her other half to put a ring on it. This is a funny billboard from Robbins Diamonds, encouraging partners to buy a ring and get down on one knee sooner rather than later.

24. Employ Adam

Runt

This poor guy was struggling to find a job so he took out a billboard ad to see if anyone would hire him. He spent his last £500 ($625) on the billboard that contained the address of his website, employadam.com. The website included his information, resume, work history, and a video explaining why he went about things this way.

The good news is this out-of-the-box way of scoring a job worked, with Adam employed by a production company called KEO. He then used his first paycheck to commission a second billboard thanking everyone who reached out and supported him. Top lad.

If you’re a science teacher, particularly in the chemistry field, or a student, you are sure to raise a smile reading this collection of chemistry jokes. Obviously, if you have a basic understanding of the subject matter it will help, but even chemistry novices will find these jokes funny.

Some popular themes for chemistry jokes include the periodic table, chemical reactions, lab equipment, and the properties of various elements and compounds. It doesn’t matter if you’re an adult or a child, you’ll find a joke here that hits the mark. These chemistry jokes are a lighthearted and fun way to engage with the fascinating world of chemistry and its many quirks and complexities.

1. Two chemists walk into a bar. One tells the bartender, “I’ll have an H2O.” The other says, “I’ll have an H2O too!” The second chemist dies.
2. What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C?  Nothing, you’re perfectly 0K. 
3. Make like a proton and stay positive. 
4. What do you call a clown in jail? A silicon.
5. If Iron Man and Silver Surfer teamed up, they’d be alloys.
6. Why did the attacking army use acid? To neutralize the enemy’s base. 
7. Lose an electron? You gotta keep an ion it. 
8. What do you do with a sick chemist? If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!
9. Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar.”OH SNaP!” says the bartender.
10. What happened to the man stopped for having sodium chloride and a 9-volt in his car? He was booked for a salt and battery.
11. I like to hear chemistry puns, periodically.
12. What kind of dogs do chemists have? Laboratory Retrievers.
13. Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK.
14. Want to hear a potassium joke? K. 
15. A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?” The bartender gives him a smile and says, “For you, no charge.”
16. Why did the white bear dissolve in water? Because it was polar.
17. Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
18. Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber? To reduce his carbon footprint.
19. Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
20. What do the other elements say to hydrogen? What a loner!
21. Old chemists never die. They just stop reacting.
22. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o-acid. 
23. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
24. What do you call an iron blowing in the breeze? Febreeze. 
25. Does anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na. 
26. Why do chemists like nitrates so much? They’re cheaper than day rates!
27. My chemistry experiment exploded. It’s ok, oxidants happen. 
28. I once told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction. 
29. What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you!
30. I wish I was adenine. Then I could get paired with U.
31. What is the dullest element? Bohrium.
32. H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking.
33. What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon. 
34. I’m out of chemistry jokes. I should zinc of a new one. 
35. What element derives from a Norse god? Thorium.
36. I like chemistry jokes because they are funny. He. He. he. 
37. Are you made of copper and tellurim? Because you’re CuTe.
38. Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn’t put it down.
39. Carbon and hydrogen went on a date. I heard they really bonded. 
40. What show do cesium and iodine watch together? Csl. 
41. Chemistry is like cooking. Just don’t lick the cutlery.
42. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it? Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
43. How about the chemical workers … are they unionized?
44. I can’t remember that element, but it’s on the tip of my tungsten.
45. What is the chemical formula for coffee? CoFe2. 
46. The proton is not speaking to the other proton. He’s mad atom.
47. Why are helium, curium, and barium the three main medical elements? If you can’t curium or helium, you barium.
48. Are you 11 protons? Cause you are sodium fine.
49. What did silver say to gold at the bar? “Au, get outta here!”
50. Knock, knock, who’s there? Beryl. Beryl who? Beryl and Lium.
51. Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO. 
52. If you’re not part of the solution – you’re part of the precipitate.
53. Why does a hamburger have less energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.
54. I am female. Fe = Iron and Male = man. Therefore, I am Iron Man.
55. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? “You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”
56. I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite… He said NaBrO.
57. What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from? Separation anxiety. 
58. Forget hydrogen, you’re my number one element.
59. What is a chemist’s favorite holiday song? Oh Chemist-TREE, oh Chemist-TREE. 
60. Someone threw sodium chloride at me. I yelled, “That’s a salt!”
61. What is the chemical formula for banana? BaNa2. 
62. If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
63. Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he left the singles bar? Because he got Avogadro’s number.
64. That was sodium funny. I slapped my neon that one.
65. What is the most important rule in chemistry? Never lick the spoon!
66. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”Helium doesn’t react.
67. Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you? Because I see no reaction.
68. How did Arsenal become a strong club in the English Premier League? Because they are bronzed with arsenic.
69. What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
70. Chemists are so happy in their lab because they are in their element.
71. What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms? A ferrous wheel.
72. Titanium is a most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it’ll combine with anything.
73. What’s a chemistry teacher’s favorite thing to teach about? Ammonia, because it’s pretty basic stuff. 
74. You should never go out drinking with neutrons because there is never any change. 
75. Enough of these chemistry puns. I think we have all sulfured enough. 
76. What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? One molar solution.
77. How did the chemist survive the famine? By subsisting on titrations.
78. What do you get when you mix helium with steel? Flying cars. 
79. Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
80. Have you heard about James Bond’s Eskimo cousin? His name is Polar Bond. 

Whether you’re a group of friends, co-workers, or strangers brought together by a shared love of trivial pursuits, coming up with a clever team name can be just as important as knowing the answers. Some popular examples of funny trivia team names include “Trivial Pursuits,” “Keep Calm and Quiz On,” “Trivia Newton-John,” and “Ten Points to Gryffindor,” which is big with Harry Potter fans. 

These names are just some of the hundreds that are suitable for your trivia team. They make for great office trivia team names and are creative trivia team names that work for all types of quizzes. So to make sure you have a hilarious name ready for your next pub quiz, we have collected the funniest, cleverest, and downright silly names that are sure to give the other quiz goers a good laugh. 

1. Trivial Pursuits

2. Team Name

3. Universally Challenged

4. Houston, We Have an Answer

5. No Eye Dear

6. Quizanthemums

7. Norfolk and Chance 

8. Quizmas Carolers

9. Collective Fools 

10. The Guess for the Job

11. Jeopardy Rejects 

12. 63% of the Time We Win Every Time!

13. Trivia Problem 

14. Eggheads 

15. Quiz in My Pants

16. The Wise Quackers

17. And in Last Place…

18. Quarenteams

19. Google Geeks

20. And The Winners Are…

21. Phil and the Blanks

22. Quiz Pro Quo

23. The Right Guess

24. Victorious Secret 

25. Running With Quizzes 

26. Trivia New Roman

27. You Can’t Quiz With Us

28. Keep Calm and Quiz On

29. The A-Team

30. Smarty Pints

31. Aiming for Second Place

32. Quizzy McQuizface

33. The Wikipedias

34. Aiming for Second Place 

35. Drinking Team with a Trivia Problem

36. Quiz in My Pants 

37. The Know-It-Alls

38. The Simple Minds

39. It’s a Hard Gronk Life

40. Alec Quizbec

41. The Quizzie Rascals 

42. Beer Today, Gone Tomorrow

43. Periodic Table Dancers

44. Herd of Nerds

45. Masterminds

46. Earth, Win, And Fire

47. Spill the Trivia 

48. Your Team Name Here

49. Quiz Kings

50. Fake Facts

51. Born To Win

52. Right Foot, Wrong Answers

53.  Blood Sweat And Beers

54. Nacho Winners 

55. Four Girls, One Quiz

56. That’s What She Said 

57. Nerd Immunity 

58. Win or Booze 

59. Make Trivia Great Again 

60. Dads Night Out 

61. Game Night

62. Superiority Complex 

63. Quizly Bears

64. Smarty Pants

65. Trivia Team Name Ideas

66. I Wish This Microphone Was a… 

67. We Thought This Was Speed Dating

68. What’s The Question Again?

69. Team Name Pending 

70. I’m With The Band

71. The Underdogs

72. Around The World In 80 Quizzes

73. Trivial Solutions

74. Lettuce Win

75. Here for the Beer

76. Superior Beings

77. Googling Through Life

78. The Lucky Guessers

79. Sleazy Smarties

80. Couch Quizzers

81. The Trivia Heads

82. So you think you can quiz?

83. I’m Smarter Than a Five-Year-Old

84. Quizzically Challenged

Movie and TV Show Trivia Team Names

85. I Am Smarticas

86, Risky Quizness

87. Elementary, My Dear Watson

88. The Real Housewives of Trivia Night

89. Home Aloners 

90. The Exor-Quizzed

91. Dumb And Dumbbells

92. The Sisterhood of Travelling Smartypants

93. Dazed and Confused 

94. Not Great Expectations 

95. Menace To Sobriety

96. The Dirty Harrys 

97. Quiz Pro Quo, Clarice

98. The Brewsual Suspects

99. What, Like It’s Hard? 

100. A Long Quiz Goddnighrt

101. We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Brain

102. Honey, I Shrunk The Quiz

103. The Fellowship of the Quiz

104. Tequila Mockingbird

105. Crouching Question Hidden Answer

106. It’s a Wonderful Quiz

107. Buckfast At Tiffany’s

108. House of Trivia 

109. Sophie’s Multiple Choice Les Quizerables

110. The Quizzard Of Oz

111. Not Fast, Just Furious.

112. Here’s Looking at You, Competitors

113. The Brainy Bunch 

114. Walken on Sunshine

115. Agatha Quiztee

116. The Shallow Hals’

117. One Team To Rule Them All

118. Making Fetch Happen

119. The Trivia-ing Dead

120. Hey, We’re Quizzin’ Here!

121. The Forrest Gumps

123. I See Dumb People 

124. The Walking Quiz 

Love movies and trivia? Then give these movie trivia questions a crack and see how much you know about the business. 

Book Trivia Team Names 

125. To Quiz a Mockingbird

126. Narnia Business

127. Alice in Winnerland

128. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Books and Booze

129. Not Great Expectations

130. Tolkien About Trivia

131. All Quiet on the Winner’s Front

132. One Team to Rule Them All

133. Sherlock Homies

134. The Count of Monte Quizco

135. Don Quizote

136. The Book Was Better

137. The Three Quizketeers

Music Trivia Team Names 

138. Red Hot Trivia Peppers

139. Beyonce Know Alls

140. Quiztopher Cross

141. Flu Fighters 

142. Born to Runner-Up

143. Thin Quizzie

144. Let’s Get Quizzical

145. Plunderwall

146. Billie Jean Is Not My Trivia Partner 

147. Smells Like Team Spirit

148. Comfortably Dumb 

149. Taking Care of Quizness

150. Never Gonna Quix You Up

151. Les Quizerables

152. Quiz or Let Die

153. Too Hot To Handle 

154. Quiztopher Quiztoffersen

155. New Quiz on the Block 

156. Quizzing on a Prayer

157. I Got 99 Problems And This Trivia Is One

Punny Trivia Team Names 

158. Quiztopher Columbus

159. Reese Winnerspoon

160. Quizton Tarantino

161. E=MC Hammer 

162. Beyonce Knows

163. Quizteena Milan

164. Eddie Quizzard

165. Quizton Stewart

166. Quizteama Aguilera

Harry Potter Trivia Team Names

167. Ten Points to Gryffindor!

168. The Golden Quiz

169. Wingardium Quiziosa

170. You’re a Quizzard, Harry!

171. Harry Potter and the Perfect Score

172. Taking Trivia Siriously

173. Quizzitch World Cup

174. Granger Things Have Happened

175. Every Day We’re Hufflin’

176. Slytherin It to Win It

177. The Remembralls

178. Defense Against the Dark Answers

179. Snapes on a Plane

180. We Heard This Quiz Would Be Weasley

Now that you have the perfect trivia team name for your Harry Potter quiz, give these Harry Potter trivia questions a go and see how much you really know about Hogwarts. 

Star Wars Trivia Team Names

181. Let Qui-Gons, Be Qui-Gons

182. Scruffy-Lookin’ Nerf Herders

183. Looking for Love in Alderaan Places

184. It’s a Trap! 

185. Jar Jar Drinks

186. The Nerf Herders 

187. Nooooooooooo!

188. Sith Happens 

189. The Force Is Strong With This Pun 

190. Han Shot First

191. Alderaan Answers

192. Qui-Gon Jinn and Tonic

193. Imperial Walker, Texas Ranger

194. Let the Wookie Win

195. Sorry About the Mess

196. Rogue Squadron

197. Obi Won Quiznobi

198. Living La Vida Yoda

Put your Star Wars knowledge to the test with these difficult Star Wars trivia questions. 

Disney Trivia Team Names

199. Walt Quiznie 

200. The Mad Hatters

201. Ariel-ly Good Team

202. The Minnie Van

203. Whistle While You Quiz

204. The Absent-Minded Professors

205. Rub Lamp for Answer

206. Taco Belles

207. Monsters University Alumni

208. Quizney Princesses

209. The Lady and the Champ

210. Cinderella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh

211. Tweedledee and Tweedle-Not-So-Dumb

212. The Emperor’s New Quiz

213. Mulan the Answers

214. The Quizristocats

Game of Thrones Trivia Team Names

215. We Know Nothing 

216. Lady Quizheart

217. A Team Has No Name

218. Win or Die

219. Trivia By Combat

220. Weirwood Winners

221. Quiz of Tarth

222. The Faceless Men

223. Khal Dragoons

224. Hodor 

225. Winners Are Coming 

226. Quiz in the North 

You want to be relaxed as possible and enjoy the day, so throwing out a few witty jokes will certainly help. The best wedding jokes are those that are appropriate for all ages and don’t offend anyone. They can be part of the best man’s speech, spoken by the minister, or dropped into a wedding speech given by the groom or a family member. If you are looking for some playful banter to break up the seriousness of the day then you have come to the right place. 

We have scoured the internet for the best wedding jokes and come up with a long list of funny quips, hilarious one-liners, and short anecdotes that will have everyone in attendance chuckling. These wedding jokes will provide some happy memories for the bride, groom, and guests and make the wedding day that extra bit special. 

1. How do you congratulate a slice of bread on his wedding day? Toast him.

2. A couple was married for 67 years. When asked if in all those years had they ever thought of divorce, the wife replied “Heavens no. Murder, yes. But never divorce.”

3. I bought a ticket to the World Cup finals without realizing it’s also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place? The church is St. Antony’s and the bride’s name is Joanna.

4. Marriage is when a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

5. Did you hear about the two spiders who just got engaged? I hear they met on the web.

6. Aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next!” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

7. The only way I’m coming to your wedding is if you get me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.

8. Your first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

9. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always get the last two words in: “Yes, dear.”

10. At the wedding reception, the photographer yelled, “Would all the married men, please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.” The bartender was almost crushed to death.

11. Did you hear about the bald man who married his comb? He promised, “I’ll never part with it!”

12. Girlfriend: “You’re so childish.” Boyfriend: “It’s my day to Linda.” Wedding planner: “So is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?”

13. It is true that love is blind because marriage is definitely an eye-opener.

14.  Marriage is like going to a restaurant. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.

15. The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they’re too old to do it. 

16. I went to a cannibals wedding last weekend. All was going well until they decided to toast the bride and groom.

17. Did you hear about the two cell phones who got married? The reception was terrific.

18. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

19. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

20. On my wedding day, I walked down the aisle with my back to the altar. I really wasn’t looking forward to getting married.

21. I went to a wedding where all the guests ended up getting food poisoning from the buffet. It was a real party pooper.

22. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.  If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. 

23. My friend was telling me about a wedding he is going to next year. He said he’ll be wearing the same kilt as the groom. I love the idea, but I’m really not sure how they’re both going to fit into it.

24. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job. He still ends up with the same boss.

25. Two florists recently got married. It was an arranged marriage.

26. Marriages are made in heaven. Then again, so are thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and hail.

27. A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

28.  Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

29. “I must inform you that I’ve had rather a heavy night and I’m still feeling a little fragile. Therefore please spare a thought and try not to clap and yelp too loudly during my speech, however tempting that might be. You’d think I’d know better than to be out boozing in the early hours just before a big wedding, but I don’t like to see the groom drinking alone.”

30. Why are husbands like lawnmowers? They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don’t work half the time.

31. Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward.

32. “People put the weirdest shit on their wedding registries. What the hell are you going to do with a crystal duck Katie?”

33. Marriage is becoming more and more progressive. I hear two scoutmasters decided to tie the knot.

34. “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” — Rita Rudner

35. A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she replied. “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

36. Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall.

37. “If I ever get married I think I will make everyone wear Crocs to the wedding. Dress code: croctail attire.”

38. My ex-wife kept the only copy of our wedding video. I can’t see myself getting married again.

39. Did you hear about the notebook that married a pencil? It finally found Mr. Write.

40. “Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies, and roses who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.”

41. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

42. I just saw two nuclear technicians getting married. The bride was radiant, and the groom was glowing.

43. My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files. I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

44. “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” – George Burns

45. What do Polish men give their wives on their wedding day that’s long and hard? Their last name.

46. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” The other replied, “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

47. “There’s only one way to have a happy marriage, and as soon as I learn what it, is I’ll get married again.” – Clint Eastwood

48. My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day. So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.

49. Marriage requires a man to prepare four types of rings: The engagement ring, the wedding ring, the suffering, and the enduring.

50. “I wanted to make a short toast of my own. I’ve known John and Jane for a few years now, and I’ve seen them make a lot of tough decisions together. Some good decisions and some not-so-good decisions. I’m just glad that I could be here today to witness them make the best decision of their lives… choosing me as their MC.”

51. “What’s the best way to get your husband to remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.” – Cindy Garnder

52. Marriage is full of surprises but it’s mostly just asking each other, “Do you have to do that right now?”

53. Why can’t a vampire see his bride on the wedding day? Because an open casket ceremony costs more.

54. I can honestly say that in all the years I’ve known him, no one has ever questioned the groom’s intelligence. In fact, I’ve never heard anyone even mention it.

55. Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty.

56. Do you know why the King of Hearts married the Queen of Hearts? They were perfectly suited to each other.

57. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s been a very emotional day. Even the cake is in tiers.

58. I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes got married. The ceremony wasn’t great, but the reception was amazing.

59.  You don’t really want to do it but know you have to. You’re made to dress snappy and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is I didn’t have a say in the life sentence passed earlier today.

60. Husband: “Why do you keep reading our marriage license?” Wife: “I’m looking for a loophole.”

61. To keep your marriage brimming with love in the marriage cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it, whenever you’re right, shut up.

62. I came home one day. My wife was watching a movie, and she kept on screaming at the TV, don’t do it, don’t do it… I asked her what movie she was watching? She said, “A video of our wedding day.”

63. Some people asked about the secret of Mr. and Mrs. Anthony’s long marriage. They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week: A little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home. The Mrs. goes on Tuesdays; He goes on Fridays.

64. It’s been ten years since the invisible man married the invisible woman. Their kids are nothing to look at either.

65. The groom is the kind of guy you don’t have to worry about introducing your parents to. That’s why (Bride) didn’t worry about introducing (Groom) to hers until today.

66. A man with a southern drawl and a French woman is at the altar when he starts having second thoughts. “Do you take this woman to be your wife?” asks the minister. “Adieu,” the man replies.

67. They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

68. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” The husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice.”

69. Unfortunately, the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They just didn’t have that spark.

70. Marriage is a thing that puts a ring on a woman’s finger and two under a man’s eyes.

71. Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?” Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

72. I liked the whole wedding, but it was the reception that really took the cake.

73. Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

74. A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted. The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

75. I married Miss Right.  I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

76. A wedding guest list is the single most political thing you will ever do unless you become the President of the United States of America.

77. “You don’t need to be on the same wavelength to succeed in marriage. You just need to be able to ride each other’s waves.” – Toni Sciarra Poynter

78. “I’d now like to focus on the groom for a moment. Enjoy it, mate. After today, this is the last time you’ll ever be the center of attention.”

79. “Marriage is like a video game. Starts off easy, then gets harder, and eventually, you go online and find a way to cheat.” – Chris Burns

80. “Why do people insist on saying ‘You’re next’ to me at weddings? Do they not realize how serial killery that is?”

81. A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”

82. My microwave & freezer got married in a kitchen wedding. Who gave the speech? The toaster.

83. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives and the wife takes.

84. Ran out of battery when filming my friend’s speech at his wedding. Now I’m never going to hear the end of it.

85. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

86. Father Henry was planning a wedding at the close of the morning service.  After the benediction, Father Henry had planned to call the couple down to be married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.  For the life of him, he couldn’t think of the names of those who were to be married. “Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?” Father Henry requested. Immediately; nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.

87. I received a wedding invitation. It read, “Your presence itself is a present. We don’t want any presents at the wedding.” After re-reading it repeatedly, I concluded that I wasn’t invited. So I decided not to attend.

88. Our marriage was a love match. Plain and simple. She was plain, and I was simple.

89. “I’m going to get married again because I’m more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.” – Wendy Liebman

90. The bride and groom began their relationship like a regular pair of love birds, by spending almost every moment together – during which time Linda tried to decide if she could do any better. And seeing as they made it this far, I can only assume the groom had her wings clipped.

91. “The groom has informed me that the buffet this evening is charged on a cost-per-head basis. So, on his behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…”

92. What do the Kentucky Derby and a wedding have in common? They both have months of build-up for two minutes of action.

93. Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished.

94. What’s the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral? One less drunk at the funeral.

95. “Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. If there is anybody here who is feeling worried, nervous, or apprehensive, you’re either me (because I am) or you just married (groom’s name).”

96. “I would like to thank you all for coming here today to celebrate my daughter’s marriage. Just for your information, the seating arrangement has been specially organized with all of the people that bought large presents being placed towards the front and those that bought cheaper smaller presents at the back. There is a special thanks for Uncle Fred who is at the back for the oven glove. The bride would like to ask Uncle Fred if she could have the other glove for their Silver Wedding Anniversary.”

97. What’s the opposite of an aphrodisiac? Wedding cake.

98. There was a man who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going through hell.

99. Why does a bride always cry at her wedding? Because she never marries the best man.

100. A woman was telling her friend, “I made my husband a millionaire.” Her friend replied, “And what was he before you married him?” The woman said, “A multi-millionaire.”

101. “Ladies and Gentlemen: you are all about to witness a unique event in history. The very first and very last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us.”

102. Marriage is an institution. In which a man loses his Bachelor’s Degree and the woman gets her Master’s.

103. “Congratulations my boy!” said the groom’s uncle. “I’m sure you’ll look back and remember today as the happiest day of your life.” “But I’m not getting married until tomorrow,” protested his nephew.”I know,” replied the uncle, “that’s exactly what I mean.”

104. “Well, I do hope that the bride and groom enjoy their honeymoon. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway. When I asked the groom what he was doing after the wedding he said he was going to Bangor for two weeks…”

105. There is nothing ironic about rain on your wedding day. It’s normal for a couple to have a bridal shower.

106. I identify with football players because I know what it’s like to spend your whole life training for a large, jewel-encrusted ring.

107. Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it.

108. I went to a wedding where a fight broke out between the bride and groom. It was martial arts.

109. My son asked me what it’s like to be married so I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.

110. “I’d also like to congratulate the groom on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.”

111. Firstly, I’d just like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact, this must be the third time today that I have stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

112. In older times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar. Since then, weddings have been held there. Times haven’t changed at all.

Many of us have encountered people like Karen in our own lives, whether it’s in the workplace, at the grocery store, or on social media. Karen stories allow us to share our frustrations and commiserate with others who have had similar experiences. They also serve as a reminder of the ways in which systemic racism and privilege continue to exist in our society.

In this article, we’ll explore some of the most memorable and infamous Karen stories that have made their way around the internet. These stories have all been gathered from the social media platform Reddit.

Karen stories are a fascinating and important cultural phenomenon that speaks to larger issues of privilege, power, and discrimination. Whether you love them or hate them, there’s no denying that they have captured the attention of millions of people around the world. So buckle up, grab your manager, and get ready for a wild ride through the world of Karen stories.

1. Duck Karen

“My grandparents live on a lake, and the first 20 feet from the lake is communal property. I was about ten years old and feeding the geese corn on the lake across from my grandparent’s house, and Karen walked halfway around the lake just to tell me that I wasn’t allowed to ‘encourage’ them to poop on her lawn and that I had to stop feeding them immediately.

When I told her that my grandfather said I was allowed she marched me up to his house, rang the doorbell, and only deflated when she realized my grandfather was the president of the HOA and pissed at her for grabbing his granddaughter. From that point on I made it a point to scatter corn on the 20 feet directly in front of her lawn.” – SaltySolicitor

2. Car Insurance Karen

“My dad once got banned from Ford (the only place that his car insurance covered the three-year late oil change he needed) because they had a vending machine that sold Arizona tea for $1.25, while the can said 99 cents. He didn’t even buy it or want to. He was screaming at the front desk people because of it. The vending machine wasn’t owned by Ford, and they were most certainly not in control of the prices. I have no idea what he hoped to gain out of the ordeal.” – beesechurgermorbees

3. Home Depot Karen

“When I worked at the Home Depot a ‘Karen’ told me that she didn’t want any black men to install her flooring. I was in charge of arranging her order and told her that we don’t select which individuals exactly will install her floor and that she’ll get who she gets. She proceeds to have a fit about it, demands white installers, asks to speak to my manager.

I’m so glad she did because my manager’s name was Dwayne and he was a real big black dude. Turns out she didn’t want to speak to the manager.” – Trompdoy

4. Candles Karen

“I am a nephew of a Karen. Was visiting her, and she needed to stop by Walgreens. She had a newspaper ad that stated that some candles were 50% off, so she bought like 10 of them. She got charged full price and flipped out. We’re talking like paying a dollar per candle instead of 50 cents.

The cashier and I both showed her that she was holding an old newspaper and that the offer expired a week ago… then she shifted to, ‘Well, you could have told me more nicely,’ and kept bitching. I just kept telling her we needed to leave. Once I finally got her out into the car, I said I had forgotten to grab a pack of gum. I went back in and apologized to the poor guy.” – mejok

5. Video Store Karen

“Back in the mid-90s, my mom rented Clerks for the family at the rental store in the Kroger we used to shop at (while having no idea how raunchy the movie is). She was so offended by it that the next day she went back in to scream at the manager at how outrageous it was that they would carry such an offensive movie at a family rental store and demanded that they permanently take it off the shelf, and the goddamned thing of it is they actually obliged her.

They never carried Clerks at that location again, so if you ever tried to rent the movie from a Kroger in Lewisville, Texas, back in the mid-’90s and weren’t able to, I apologize. It is entirely my mom’s fault.” – schnit123

6. Hotel Pool Karen

“We went to some hotel one night for dinner. The hotel had a pool that was clearly only for ‘hotel guests’ as was indicated by dozens of signs surrounding the pool. My mother told my little brother and I we were allowed to use the pool and even had us wear our bathing suits under our clothing so we could easily get changed after dinner.

Well, they clearly have employees monitoring this, and not long after we jumped in the water security calmly walked over and asked to see our hotel room keys. Since we weren’t staying there and didn’t have room keys, we were politely asked to leave. My mother refuses and insists we were within our rights because we ate dinner there. A screaming match ensues, hundreds of people are staring at us, and finally, the head of security had to escort us off the property before the police were called.” – mox44ah

7. Coupon Karen

“When I was working retail, this one woman had a big bag of coupons. Most of them were unusable because either they were expired or they were duplicates. She berated me because the system was rejecting most of the coupons. She called me stupid amongst other names, telling me I just wasn’t doing it right. Then as a typical Karen would, she asked to speak with my manager.

My manager came and asked what the problem was. The woman ranted about how incompetent I was because I didn’t know how to scan a coupon. My manager looked at the coupons and the coupons were the problem, not me. My manager [called] out the customer for being disrespectful to me and told the customer to leave the store. I hated working there but I’m so grateful that I had managers that totally didn’t go by the “customer is always right” rule and weren’t afraid to stand up for their employees. That was just one of many incidents.” – d0n7w0rry4b0u7171

8. Medical School Karen

“In medical school, we had a Karen. She was… not a very nice person. She was notorious for losing her temper on just about everyone and being an overall bully. One day, she picked me as a target, apparently I was sitting in “her seat”. I asked her to point out to me where it was posted or embroidered on the seat that this was “Karen’s seat”. I refused to budge. Prof. entered lecture theatre, Karen protested to prof. Prof. proceeded to give her a verbal beatdown on entitlement and how these types of people make horrible doctors. Karen felt wronged and left. The whole class applauded as she was leaving, she mostly kept to herself afterwards. I felt it was long overdue justice being served.” – IamsomebodyAMA

9. Tipping Karen

“This was decades ago, but my mother used to sneak back to our table and ‘adjust’ whatever tip my dad/myself would leave. Hint: It was never adjusted upwards.” – lessmiserables

10. Call Center Karen

“It’s been long enough that I think anyone involved has long since forgotten. Now, I should say that this didn’t happen to me personally, but it occurred in real-time while I was (indirectly) present. I was working for A Phone Company in a call center. We were in training for a new scope of service, and part of that training involved listening to some of those calls that ‘may be recorded for training purposes.’

Normally, the recordings are selected semi-randomly, but this one was specifically selected because it had happened to a supervisor in our center ten minutes prior. Karen called us in a fury. It seems that she had discovered that her son had replaced her number on his ‘five favorite numbers’ list with the contact information of an unknown female. She wanted us to change it back. We legally could not do that. It’s not her phone, after all, and he made the change intentionally. When the agent on the call tells her this, Karen flips her [crap] in the way only a true ‘Karen’ can. It’s the full package: screaming, shouting, accusing us of being crooked, unfair, ‘the customer is always right,’ etc, etc.

At this point, I should mention that Karen was calling from the store in her local mall. After about five minutes of Karen rage, we hear the following exchange: Serious ‘Authority Voice’: ‘Ma’am, if you can’t calm down, you’re gonna have to leave the store.’ Mostly incoherent K-Raging (sounds like ‘I will not calm down,” ‘they’re cheating me,’ and so forth). SAV: ‘Okay – ma’am? – you’re under arrest.’ Shocked, disbelieving pause in K-Raging. ‘I’m what?’ SAV: ‘You’re under arrest, ma’am, for [something muffled and unintelligible]. This final declaration is followed by the sound of a mobile phone clattering to the floor/countertop, from where the salesperson retrieves it: ‘Uh… yeah, sorry about that. I don’t think you have to worry about this anymore, she just got arrested.’ – Frednotbob

11. Return the Shirt Karen

“Working retail one afternoon and here comes Karen with a return. At first glance it’s no big deal, just coming in to return a shirt. She walks up to the register, hands me the receipt to start processing and we exchange a pleasant greeting. I take the shirt out of the bag to examine it and it is beyond disgusting. There were brown sweat stains all over it, from the pits to the stomach to the shoulder. It looked like whoever wore it rolled in mud or some nonsense. I proceed to tell Karen that I cannot return the product because it had clearly been used and that only unused and resellable items could be returned.

Karen through a fit, started screaming at me and accusing me of calling her a liar and whatnot. I hold up the shirt and point to the brown pit stains and say ‘Karen, can’t you see this stain?’ Oh, man did that make it worse. She continues making a huge scene and demands to see the manager. News flash Karen, I am the manager and I’m not budging. After 20 or so minutes of complaining she finally leaves saying she’ll be complaining to corporate and getting me fired and blah blah blah.

Fast forward a few days. A guy walks into the store, finds the first store associate he can, and immediately asks for me by name. Uh-oh, here we go again. Anyway, my associate brings the guy over to where I’m standing and I politely greet him. The guy spends the next 10 minutes apologizing for his crazy wife Karen verbally abusing my staff and I a few days prior. Apparently, the guy went to the beach and did some type of CrossFit/HIIT training class IN THE SAND. Karen knows all of this; she was in the class with him! The guy ended up not liking the shirt for some reason and Karen thought she could pull a fast one on us by making a scene.

Think again Karen.” – Lovebuttonmyface

12. Bottled Water Karen

“My mother is not exactly a Karen, but she had a very bad Karen moment once. She paid me a visit shortly after I moved to Switzerland. We went shopping for groceries together. Everything in Switzerland is at least twice as expensive — and my mother did let the entire shop know how overpriced each and every item I put in the cart was. While also insisting that we needed to buy bottled water because she couldn’t drink tap water. (She does it at home, and Switzerland has the better water quality. So I have really no idea why that was a thing in the first place.) So from everything she complained about, the 12 bucks for four bottles of non-sparkly water was somehow completely fine. I never went shopping with her ever again after this.” – OneMore Potion

13. Red Hair Karen

“One time, Karen put her own hair in her half-eaten plate of food and then threw a royal fit, demanding that her meal be comped and that she speak to the manager. I went into the back of the restaurant, pulled out the orange hair with three inches of regrowth, and asked the Mexican guys in the kitchen ‘Hey, did any of you bring a wig to work today?’ They told me to fuck off.

Went back out, told Karen that nobody on staff has red hair with blonde roots (while staring directly at her disastrous dye job) but the manager said we would be happy to buy dessert for the whole table to make up for this strange phenomenon. The 4 other people at the table were clearly mortified and declined dessert. She ordered cheesecake and they all sat there and glared at her while she devoured it. (Friggin) Karen.” – goodytwotoes

14. Quarter Pounder With Cheese Karen

“When I was about 9, my dad took my sister and I to McDonald’s one evening. At this point he and my mum were separated, so he only saw us once a week (and those visits gradually petered out to my relief). He ordered a Quarter Pounder with cheese for himself, took one bite, and spat it out into the box. He then stormed up to the counter, ignored the line of people waiting to order, and started loudly berating the woman at the register (who hadn’t even taken his order in the first place).

He screamed, ‘I asked for a goddamn Quarter Pounder without cheese; why the hell have you put cheese on my burger? You clearly don’t know how to do the most simple of tasks. I want to speak to your manager…’ And on and on it went. I felt such shame and humiliation, and I couldn’t even finish my meal. If that wasn’t bad enough, when he finally came back with a fresh meal, I told him in a timid voice that he had in fact ordered one with cheese, and he started screaming at me. Yeah…I wasn’t exactly gutted when those little outings with dad ended.” – Cryptic_Spren97

15. Restaurant Karen

“Not my parent but my step-grandparent. We went to a Thai restaurant, and they were severely understaffed because of COVID, so the food took around 30 minutes to come out. My food didn’t come out for another 10 minutes; during those 10 minutes he kept calling over waiters and asking when the food will come, and if it doesn’t come soon I’ll give you a one-star rating. It was pretty funny for me, but I also felt bad for the people working there.” – Revolutionary_Blake

16. Cupcake Karen

“When I worked at a bakery, Karen bought a chocolate cupcake and ate half of it. Karen then asked if she could return her half-eaten chocolate cupcake… not because she didn’t like it, but because she wanted to exchange it for half of a vanilla cupcake, ‘something less decadent.’ Like most bakeries, we did not sell cupcakes ‘by the half.’ She became offended when I asked if she wanted to purchase a vanilla cupcake.” – cabernetcat

17. Nosebleed Karen

“I used to work retail, so I have come across my fair share of Karens. They were a huge reason why I went back to school and no longer work as a cashier. Anyways, one day while I was manning the registers with a few other coworkers of mine, I had a massive nosebleed right as I was finishing a transaction. I grabbed a tissue and quickly excused myself to run to the restroom so I could try to get it to stop bleeding; this meant that I couldn’t say goodbye to Karen and give the little spiel about how I was oh-so grateful for her shopping with us.

Anyways, after about 10 minutes, I was finally able to get my nose back under control and headed back to the registers. I saw her waiting to the side with a scowl on her face, arms crossed over her chest, the whole nine yards. She proceeded to scold me about how rude I was for not saying goodbye. After I apologized and explained that I had an unexpected nosebleed, she told me I should have tried holding it in and that the customer comes first.” – lamenite

18. Throw Pillows Karen

“I was a supervisor at Cost Plus World Market, a Karen comes in one night pushing a cart full of obviously used throw pillows and asks to return them. Of course, she has no receipt, and instead wants us to just “look her up in the system”. Except she refuses to provide her information for us to try to look her up. She starts yelling at my cashier and that’s when I stepped in to tell her very politely and calmly that she either needs a receipt or needs to provide us with her name and phone number. She starts screeching and screaming about how we’re [idiots] and she’ll get us fired and blah blah blah, then she demands an apology from the president of the world.

I’m certain she meant the president of World Market, but in her bleached hair fury she said ‘the president of the world’ and I barely held it together as I calmly offered her the corporate feedback number. She wouldn’t take it and instead walked out of the store still yelling and without her cart of dirty pillows. She returned about 20 minutes later, quietly apologized, and took her pillows with her, we never heard from her again.” – ChickenPicture

19. Christmas Clearance Karen

“My mom used to be a Karen. I can still remember her arguing with the cashier at Zellers when I was a kid over the price of clearance Christmas stuff. It got to the point that the people behind her were yelling at her to stop and hurry up. Sometimes the difference in price was a couple of cents. I was so embarrassed and walked away to do something else while this was going on.” – DisastrousTarget5060

20. High School Friend Karen

“I was working at my job as a cashier at my local supermarket. We were swamped with people I had at least seven people waiting in my line. One of my good friends from high school was in my line and I talked to him as I was ringing up his stuff. After he left I welcomed the next lady in line and asked the usual stuff ‘did you find everything okay?’ ‘How are you doing?’ etc. Before I could get a word out she asked to speak to my manager. Apparently, I was rude to her for not including her in my conversation with my high school friend. She didn’t even chime in or anything and I never seen her in my life [friggin] Karen man. – Elba-3

21. Photography Store Karen

“I used to own a photography store (sold cameras and did pictures for passports etc), we opened at 1 pm on Mondays, but I happened to be at the store on Monday morning because I needed to get something, was planning on just grabbing what I needed and go home when Karen tried to get in through the locked door. Door had a sign on it that said we were closed, and a sign with our opening hours. I didn’t turn on any of the lights so it was also very dark inside.

Karen started banging on the door, I was just about to leave so I went outside to tell her we were closed. Karen didn’t take it well and immediately demanded to speak to the manager. I said that I’m the owner, she then proceeded to shout, and curse, so much so that the manager of the supermarket across the street came out to help me. She then tried to make the supermarket manager force me to open my store almost four hours earlier. Didn’t work. Never seen the woman again.” – Pien85

22. Refrigerator Karen

“Asked for my manager’s personal cell phone number to complain that I (seven months pregnant at the time) would not carry a refrigerator (that she had not paid for in the cost of her room) up to her second story room (we did not have an elevator), rather than just accept an upgrade for free because she didn’t want to unpack her stuff.

She refused to believe we had rooms without fridges and I was just being fat and lazy. When I refused to give her the cell phone number, she asked for corporate’s number. I wrote it down on a sticky note with a smiley face. She came down later and asked to move rooms. I made her pay the difference.” – ghostofgenerayburn

23. Restaurant Karen II

“I used to manage a restaurant. I had a lady complain about an issue with a previous order and she wanted something replaced. She didn’t have what she wanted to return. She had a receipt dated October of last year. She came in to complain about it in January of this year. She went on to say the manager was a tall white guy that told her that she can replace it. I was the only manager at that time. I’m black. So she threw a tantrum, saying how she was never coming back and was talking about complaining on Yelp. I’m glad I don’t have to see her again.” – slapaho

Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had drumsticks. Why did the chicken go to the seance? To talk to the other side. Alright, alright, maybe those aren’t the best chicken jokes ever. We know what you’re thinking. These jokes are fowl. But don’t worry, we aren’t just winging it here. and have a large selection of egg-cellent jokes for you to enjoy. There’s even a knock knock joke thrown in for good measure.

Whether you’re a poultry enthusiast or just in need of a good chuckle, these are the best chicken jokes around. Trust us, we are egg-sperts here at Next Luxury.

1. Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn’t exist yet.

2. What do chickens study at college?

Egg-onomics.

3. Why did the chicken run across the road?

To get to the other side faster.

4. I have just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon today.

I will let you know which comes first.

5. What do chickens grow on?

An eggplant.

6. Did you hear about the chicken that could only lay eggs in the winter?

She was no spring chicken.

7. Why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

Because there was a KFC on the other side.

8. How does a pessimist rooster sing?

Cock a doodle don’t.

9. What do you call a chicken that’s afraid of the dark?

A chicken

10. A farmer goes upstairs to his bedroom holding a big chicken in his arms. His wife is already in bed. When entering the room, he says “This is the pig I am sleeping with.” The wife, surprised, responds “Honey, this is not a pig, this is a chicken.”

The husband corrects her: “Darling, I am not talking to you, I am talking to the chicken.”

11. Why did Chicken Little cross the road?

To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling.

12. Where do chickens have the most feathers?

On the outside.

13. Why did the chicken cross the road?

To bock traffic.

14. Where is the best place to find information on eggs?

In the hen-cyclopedia.

15. What do you call a chicken crossed with a cow?

A roost beef.

16. Why was the egg afraid?

It was a little chicken.

17. How does chicken get their letters?

In hen-envelopes.

18. What do you call a bird with no wings?

A flap.

19. Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

20. A young girl asks her dad: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” The dad doesn’t know so she responds: “To get to the house of a dummy Dad.” The dad is puzzled, so the girl gets to another joke: “Knock-knock” Dad: “Who’s there?”

Girl: “The chicken!”

21. Why did Mozart hate chickens?

All they say is, “Bach-Bach-Bach!”

22. How do baby chickens dance?

Chick-to-chick.

23. Why did the chicken cross the road?

No one knows. But the road will have its vengeance.

24. How do we get a chicken to click on your website?

Use cluckbait.

25. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road?

To stretch her legs.

26. Where do tough chickens come from?

Hard-boiled eggs.

27. What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion.

28. Why are chickens good at drumming?

Because they have drumsticks.

29. How do chickens leave a building?

They use the eggs-it!

30. Johnny goes to sleep next to his wife, Becky, and soon enough he falls asleep. Suddenly, he wakes up and realizes he is in heaven, where Saint Peter awaits him. Johnny says “but I’m not ready to die and go to heaven yet! I want to go back to earth.” Saint Peter responds “Well, it is not that easy. You can return to earth, but only as a chicken.” Johnny, disillusioned, responds “ok fine, I will go back as a chicken.” And poof, Johnny is now back as a chicken on a nice farm. But his bottom really, really hurts, as if it was going to explode.

Another chicken comes by and explains that he need not worry, this is just because he has to lay an egg. And he better do it quickly. The other chicken recommends “You have to push, push as hard as you can.” So Johnny pushes, pushes as hard as he can. After a few minutes of pushing, still nothing. The other chicken encourages Johnny to continue.

After some time, surely enough, a big egg comes out of his bottom! Relieved, Johnny the chicken feels a lot better when he suddenly hears his wife Becky scream: “Johnny, wake up, you just shit in our bed!”

31. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?

The cluck o’ the Irish!

32. How does a chicken without feathers feel?

Plucking terrible.

33. What movie do chickens love the most?

E.T. The Egg-straterrestrial.

34. Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn’t chicken.

35. How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?

The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

36. Why did the chicken go to bed with the egg?

She wanted to know who came first.

37. What movie do chickens fear most?

Poultrygeist.

38. How did the chicken with no legs cross the road?

In a KFC bucket.

39. What day do chickens hate the most?

Fry-day.

40. Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?

Attila the Hen.

41. What is a hen’s favorite type of movie?

A chick flick.

42. Why are hens happy when they cook?

Because of the free range.

43. What do you call it when a chicken lays an egg on the roof of a barn?

An egg roll.

44. Why did the chicken cross the road?

To knock knock on the door, walk into the bar, and change the lightbulb.

45. What made the rooster laugh?

The comedi-hen.

46. Why did the chicken sit in the middle of the road?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

47. The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.

The police suspect fowl play.

48. What was the chicken DJ playing?

Henhouse music. 

49. Why did the chicken cross the road?

To show the duck how to do it.

50. A friend asked me, “How do you raise chickens?”

I answered, “Just try and wing it.”

51. What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell?

An alarm cluck.

52. Why is it easy for chicks to talk?

Because talk is cheep.

53. What do you get when you put a chicken in a concrete mixer?

A brick layer.

54. Which U.S. state is the most yellow?

Yolklahoma.

55. What do chicken families do on the weekends?

They have peck-nics.

56. Did you hear about the rooster who won the prize for the best bird?

He became very cocky.

57. What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?

Hen-durance.

58. Why do chickens hate it in winter?

They feel cooped up.

59. What do artsy chickens enjoy?

Spoken-word poultry.

60. Why is your chicken’s coop smelly?

The fowl odor.

61. Did you know chickens can jump higher than a house?

The reason is houses can’t jump.

62. What happened to the baby chicken that misbehaved at school?

It was egg-spelled.

63. Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

If it had four, it’d be a chicken sedan.

64. What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?

A dirty double-crossing chicken.

65. Why do chickens not like bossy roosters?

Because they ruffle everyone’s feathers.

66. What did the chicken say to her friend when they crossed the road?

I was expecting so much more.

67. Why do young roosters act like their dads?

Like feather, like son.

68. What do chickens order for dessert?

Coop-cakes.

69. Why don’t chickens tell jokes to their eggs?

Because it might crack them up.

70. What do chickens call school tests?

Eggs-aminations.

71. Why shouldn’t you put an egg in the microwave?

It egg-splodes.

72. What is a chicken’s favorite book?

How to Wing Friends and Influence People.

73. Why did the chicken go to the seance?

To get to the other side.

74. What did the rooster say to the chicken?

You are impeck-able.

75. Which dance will a chicken not do?

The foxtrot.

76. What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?

She lays hand gren-eggs.

77. Which final event does chicken fear?

The Apeckalypse.

78. Why did the droid cross the road?

Because a chicken programmed it.

79. What was the silent hen called?

Unclucky.

80. Why do chickens go to Burger King?

To see a chicken strip.

81. What did the chicken say when passing through?

Egg-scuse me.

82. How do chickens bake a cake?

They start from scratch.

83. What did the agnostic chicken do?

Doubted its egg-sistence.

84. Why don’t chickens like people?

Because they beat eggs.

85. What was the chicken’s greatest concern?

Egg-onomics.

86. Why was this chicken not like the others?

He was a little egg-centric.

87. What type of eggs does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs.

88. Why did McDonald’s run out of chicken McNuggets?

The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.

89. A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a chicken sitting next to him. “Are you a chicken?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?”

The chicken replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

90. What do you give to a sneezing chicken?

A hen kerchief.

91. How do you know they are having money trouble in the chicken coop?

They were trying to make hens meet.

92. What did the sick chicken say?

“I have the people pox.”

93. How does chicken loosen nut bolts?

Turning them counter cluck wise.

94. What song did chicken Elvis sing?

“Rock around the cluck.”

95. Why was the rooster drunk?

He had one too many cock-tails.

96. Where did the chicken pilot sit?

In the cockpit.

97. Why did the chicken not show up on the radar?

It had a clucking device.

Even famous people aren’t immune to big forehead jokes, with PGA Tour star Jordan Spieth congratulating Denver Broncos Peyton Manning on his 2016 Super Bowl 50 win with a tweet that read; “From one big forehead to another… I’d enjoy sharing some with the Sheriff sometime. Heck of a post game interview haha.”

While some may argue that these jokes can be hurtful, when done in good fun and with the right audience, they can bring laughter and joy. That’s why you have to make sure you don’t just blurt these jokes out willy-nilly. Make sure everyone understands it’s just a bit of harmless fun. So, if you’re ready to embrace your big forehead or poke fun at a friend’s, join in on the fun and let the big forehead jokes begin.

1. Your forehead is so big it can fit an NBA court.

2. Your forehead is so big that if you had a stroke, it would look like a landslide gone wrong.

3. Your forehead is so big it’s like your entire face is on your chin.

4. Your forehead is so big the photo on your Driver’s License says, “To be continued on the back.”

5. Your forehead is so big it gets home before you do.

6. Your forehead is so big even Dora can’t explore it.

7. Your forehead is what happens when you keep your thoughts to yourself.

8. Your forehead is so big that the teachers use it as a whiteboard.

9. Your forehead is so big I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

10. Your forehead is so big it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

11. Your forehead is so big that it made the Mona Lisa smile.

12. Your forehead is so big your mom spent half of the time in the delivery room giving birth to just your head.

13. Your forehead is so big it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

14. Your forehead is so big it’s a $20 taxi ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

15. Your forehead is so big it makes Kanye’s ego look small.

16. Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.

17. Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic.

18. Your forehead is so big when they measure your temperature they say you have global warming.

19. Your forehead is so big you’ll never have enough hair for bangs.

20. Your forehead is so big that if Michaelangelo ever started painting frescoes on your forehead it would take him four years to complete it.

21. Your forehead is so big, a group of friends can even play Wii sports on it.

22. Your forehead is so big, you have to step into your shirts.

23. Your head is so big “lather, rinse, repeat” isn’t enough.

24. Your head is so big your ears are in different time zones.

25. Your head is so big we would need Jupiter to make your bobblehead.

26. Your forehead is so big it has its own gravitational pull.

27. Your forehead is so big your inner thoughts echo.

28. Your head is so big the airlines charge you an extra $25 to bring it aboard.

29. Your forehead is so big your thoughts start on a Monday and don’t end until Sunday.

30. Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can’t see what’s in front of me.

31. Your forehead is so big it goes back to when Burger King was Burger Prince.

32. Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your Forehead Is So Big Question and Answer Jokes

33. What do you call a really big forehead? A fivehead.

34. Why do most philanthropists have a big forehead? They donate it to charity for shelter.

35. What does a sinking ship and how big your head has in common? Capsize.

36. Why are some confused looking at a large forehead? They are trying to figure out if that’s the forehead or the moon.

37. What does a big-headed kid want to become when he grows up? Headmaster.

38. Why do big-headed students hate Maths? It is way over their heads.

39. Remember the young child with a large head whom everyone called “Pumpkinhead?” Eventually, that boy’s body grew into his head and now everyone calls me “Pumpkinman.”

40. Why did the blonde have makeup on her forehead? Someone told her to make up her mind.

41. What is the biggest achievement of a mountain climber? Successfully climbing your forehead.

42. Why do big foreheaded people never go broke? They can always rent out parking spots on your forehead.

43. What do most people with big foreheads do as a part-time? As a projector backdrop at the movies.

44. Why don’t you join the army? They could use your forehead as a landing spot for their helicopters.

Yo Mama’s Forehead Is So Big Jokes

45. Yo mama’s head is so big her head can’t fit through her shirt hole.

46. Yo mama’s head is so big it shows up on radar.

47. Yo mama‘s head is so big you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.

48. Yo mama’s head is so big Goodyear is renting it out.

49. Yo mama’s head is so big there are mall directories on her ears.

50. Yo mama’s head is so big she washes her hair at Niagara Falls.

51. Yo mama’s forehead is so big the UN passed a bill declaring it a sovereign state.

52. Yo mama’s head is so big her AirPods are in different countries.

53. Yo mama’s head is so big she uses a fitted sheet as a bonnet.

54. Yo mama’s forehead is so big Megamind thought she was his sister.

55. Yo mama’s head is so big they discovered she’s a planet.

General Your Forehead Is So Big Jokes

56. It’s a $20 cab ride from your eyebrows to your hairline.

57. You could power the whole neighborhood if you attached a solar panel to your forehead.

58. God loved you so much that he gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

59. That’s not a forehead… That’s a forecourt.

60. My computer crashed trying to load all of that forehead.

61. You could probably get paid for advertising on that billboard.

62. I wasn’t staring at you. I was trying to figure out if that’s your forehead or the moon.

63. Coneheads was a documentary about your family.

64. I can see my future in your forehead.

65. Your forehead is so big and shiny that it looks like a solar field.

66. I bumped into Thanos and laughed really hard at the size of his chin and forehead. He snapped.

67. Don’t worry, the forehead jokes are receding just like your hairline.

68. I don’t know if I’d spank you on the ass or on your forehead.

69. You must use an extra mattress as a pillow.

70. Successfully climbing your forehead is the biggest achievement anyone can achieve as a mountain climber.

71. I bet it’s cool you can change the TV channels with your mind.

72. Call the Europeans back; it seems there’s a whole continent that they haven’t discovered yet.

73. You look like someone drew a face on a balloon and then squeezed the bottom.

74. I won’t say anything about your forehead. But I will say it looks like it’s hard for you to find a bike helmet that fits.

75. When you die, scientists will preserve your skull.

76. “All the kids make fun of me,” the boy cried to his mother, “They say I have a big head.” “Don’t listen to them,” his mother comforted him, “You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.” “Where’s the shopping bag?” “I haven’t got one, use your hat.”